Are you tired of companies that turn out to be fronts for the mafia, scams or shadow government organizations gathering your personal information for nefarious purposes?
Well, be weary no longer. Whatever products we sell (if any) are 100% legitimate, and come with a guarantee of some sort… probably. Your information will only be used for legitimate business purposes, and never for anything that could be described by a state supreme court justice as “The most egregious and obvious example of cyber crime ever to be witnessed by this court, or perhaps, any group of humans that will ever exist.”
The board, in it’s first ever act, unanimously elected Guy McCoy as it’s new Vice President.